Oh, if I could go back in time when you only held me in my mind.

I’m in a rough place internally. Normally I’m like a star that shines really bright and helps lift up people around me and I have people turn to me and I can help them and I thrive in that because it is so rewarding and helps me. But over the last few years there has been like a shroud that has gotten darker and heavier and it has really blocked out that star that is kind of just smoldering inside of me. I’m kind of just flailing trying to find a way to clear it away and every once in a while a little burst of it shines through, but then it gets hidden again. I just want to feel like me again. Because I was so attractive in so many ways. Like in a human way. I felt like I was easy to love. I was easy to fall in love with. Right now I feel hard to love. I’m trying to get back there, but with the things I’ve learned.